Focus: Holy Scripture (6/7)
Day: 06/95
Pathway summary: Study of the Word of God with expectation of Holy Spirit inspired revelation.
Justification: (Deuteronomy 6:6-9; Psalm 119; John 16:7-15; 2 Timothy 3:16-17)
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Setup:
Continuing the Bible study on Love.
These last four days are aspects of living out a path of love
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Prep:
Today's love-theme is forgiveness. As it were, forging the ivy of bitterness.
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Execution:
I started off with prayer and a little confusion (how do you tackle forgiveness?) The Holy Spirit guided me to several verses (Mark 11:25, James 5:16, Matthew 18:21-22) and gave me a new understanding of the purpose and impact of forgiveness.
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Day 6 Conclusions / Thoughts
Forgiveness is one of those things that masquerades as other things because the impact and execution often is bigger than we might expect. Similar to prayer, forgiveness looks small on the surface. And it never is. It is a quotidian iceberg.
The proper preparation for forgiveness is usually something as simple as recognizing the need for forgiveness. "He stole my bike", "She cheated on me", "I was fired!" - we each can so easily get tied up in the knots of false perception, of idolatry, of inaccurate or incomplete judgement. We can even more so be trapped under earnest, righteous judgement - how are we supposed to handle standard betrayals? "My Daddy touched me in the wrong place", "My spouse wants to look at pornography instead of me", "My best friend finally revealed she was only ever my friend to get to my brother - this, after ten years of getting to know her."
Forgiveness is the coin we use to "pay" our way across the chasm of crap. Nearly anything can trap us in doubt, in horror, in anger, in rage, in fear, in righteous indignation - and it is easy, when you are so trapped, to feel like there is no way out. That's where forgiveness comes in - it releases you from the nefariously subtle emotional obligation to continue acting/feeling the same way you have been.
So we recognize the need - how do we do it and how do we keep it?
We do it by simply declaring "I forgive" to those involved. Forgive your wife for leaving your marriage by telling them "I forgive you for leaving me. I release you." - because the truth is, the physical consequences of the action do not go away - but you don't have to carry them around in your heart. You don't have to rehash the pain, relive the injury, or renew the grievance. You can grow past it.
Forgiving the first time can sometimes be simply an act of will. Just a simple "I will forgive my son" to yourself or to God. Then, without airing the offence, give air to the forgiveness.
There is a release from simply intending to forgive - more with actual forgiveness - and often gives the opportunity to move away from the cause. Because forgiveness doesn't solve problems or take away consequences ... but it does stop events from spreading, for taking a truly evil action and making it worse.
We keep it by committing to forgive over and over. The part about forgiveness I did not understand until I was older was that forgiveness is almost never a one-time-thing. The first time is the most painful and most public. But, up until God heals your heart, you have to forgive more than once - and over time it becomes a little easier; this is, in my opinion, because you don't have to mull over the decision to forgive again - you just repeat the same decision.
For a non-Christian, although there are near infinite reasons to forgive someone, it is easy to be motivated by the joy of reunion, the freedom of release, the ability to finally reconnect with the world in a way that the pain would not allow.
But for a Christian, in addition to the myriad of ways that the need for forgiveness arises, we have the amazing reality that it gives us a tool to grow closer to God. Additionally, practicing forgiveness in our own lives helps us understand the forgiveness He grants us - it gives us a tool to understand what God means when He says He forgave us of sins.
And I suspect being able to forgive is part of what God blessed us with when He made us in His own image.
