Release

Link: Core Values
Focus: Holy Scripture (4/7)
Day: 04/95
Pathway summary: Study of the Word of God with expectation of Holy Spirit inspired revelation.
Justification: (Deuteronomy 6:6-9; Psalm 119; John 16:7-15; 2 Timothy 3:16-17)
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Setup:
Continuing the Bible study on Love.  I took a break that lasted a day longer than intended - and it took intention and effort to restart.  A reminder that change is possible but requires effort.
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Prep:
Today's love-theme is release.  Or re-lease.  As the implementation strikes.

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Execution:
I started off with prayer; I recognized I was not where I needed to be and felt like I hadn't grown. God reminded me that He is the one who does the changing and it was presumptive of me to presume that just asking for change would immediately cause it. Also - that I have changed, because I'm aware of the need AND then it was a reminder that Love is not always about doing the right thing - it's about not doing the wrong things.  Verse focus was 1 Corinthians 13:11.

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Day 4 Conclusions / Thoughts

So the best sorts of changes - the ones that are well-balanced, have a lasting impact, and cause the least amount of long-term damage - are my least favorite kind. The iterative ones - where you have to make the same decision repeatedly. Where you have to do it again. And again.  It's like a twisted lifetime-long "Who wants to be a millionaire" with oddly-appropriate people asking "are you sure".

This is easy when it is positive reinforcement. Yes, I like chocolate. Yes, I love my spouse. Yes, I do fit into the bracelet I wore twenty years ago.

It is hard to do with repentance. To repent, not just the first time, but every time. And to do so mindfully, willingly, gladly, and to give thanks while doing it.

And I've been learning that God really wants me to change - but, much like prayer is more for us than for Him (because He already knows what we're going to ask for AND knows what we need, so why ask?), repentance is our opportunity to be humbled, to rely upon Him, and to be aware of what we're repenting.  If repentance were easy - everybody would do it and it likely wouldn't have the same import.

But repentance, to turn away, to choose the less-comfortable path, is what we are called to do. We are to "put away childish things". What's a childish thing? Something that encourages you to act immature, to be selfish, to draw you away from God. Anything can be a childish thing.

And in that release, that repentance, that acceptance that we need God, we can be more Loving - in fact, we kind of get out of our own way.

Seeking

Link: Core Values
Focus: Holy Scripture (1/7)
Day: 01/95
Pathway summary: Study of the Word of God with expectation of Holy Spirit inspired revelation.
Justification: (Deuteronomy 6:6-9; Psalm 119; John 16:7-15; 2 Timothy 3:16-17)
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Setup:
Considering the topic, it would seem to be prudent to have a bible study curriculum of some kind; starting off I have none.  As my ultimate goal is to be a better Christian (and with the immediate application of being a better husband, a better father, a better son, etc.), I elect to learn what the Bible says about love.  I suspect I have glossed over much of what the bible says ... so I shall review it, pray on it, and (as stated above) expect the Holy Spirit to reveal something.
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Prep:
A quick web search on Bible studies on love reveals that more people have written more on this one subject than I anticipated.  Not surprising - as love is earnestly hard to master.  We are counseled to love God with all of ourselves. And we are told that Jesus IS love.  It thus, must be worth the study.

I'm also sticking with 1 Corinthians 13 - unless I feel guided to meander.  Cause I'm tryin' to grow - I earnestly want to be open to what the Holy Spirit has for me

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Execution:
I began by praying, asking for revelation, clarity, focus.  I recorded my thoughts, notes, and conclusions in a separate paper notebook. Today's Bible study revealed some things about 1 Corinthians 13. In particular, the first three versus focus on motive.

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Day 1 Conclusions / Thoughts

I know I personally tend to spend most of my time/energy doing the following: talking/singing/making music, knowing/thinking/praying, sacrificing/donating. In essence, no matter what you're doing, if your fundamental motives are not based on love, you will not last, nor will your works matter, nor will your voice/value endure. Our culture values all of these things - we have shows centered around how pretty someone sounds. how smart they appear, how reliable they are, how able they are to foretell (using mysticism or mathematics), how generous someone is - etc.

Ironically, we all know that anyone who isn't motivated by love is functionally doing for the wrong reason; however, it is easy to forget that in the moment ... especially if you're the one acting.  How easy it is to be engaged in an activity that seems to be helpful but ... we're motivated by wanting to be elsewhere, or attracted to someone (physically or emotionally or otherwise), or waiting our turn to talk (instead of just listening), or donating goods and clothes for the tax write-off or simply for de-cluttering.

I suspect it is easy to over-apply this lesson ... and I recall I am notorious for taking an initial, fundamental realization/revelation and applying it WAY too generously. So I will leave for now - save for one earnest acknowledgement. It is so great that God still wants to talk to me. I ... don't *feel* closer just yet ... but I fully acknowledge that the revelations from today's study were from Him.  So, so grateful that He still wants to talk to me. <3