Release

Link: Core Values
Focus: Holy Scripture (4/7)
Day: 04/95
Pathway summary: Study of the Word of God with expectation of Holy Spirit inspired revelation.
Justification: (Deuteronomy 6:6-9; Psalm 119; John 16:7-15; 2 Timothy 3:16-17)
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Setup:
Continuing the Bible study on Love.  I took a break that lasted a day longer than intended - and it took intention and effort to restart.  A reminder that change is possible but requires effort.
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Prep:
Today's love-theme is release.  Or re-lease.  As the implementation strikes.

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Execution:
I started off with prayer; I recognized I was not where I needed to be and felt like I hadn't grown. God reminded me that He is the one who does the changing and it was presumptive of me to presume that just asking for change would immediately cause it. Also - that I have changed, because I'm aware of the need AND then it was a reminder that Love is not always about doing the right thing - it's about not doing the wrong things.  Verse focus was 1 Corinthians 13:11.

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Day 4 Conclusions / Thoughts

So the best sorts of changes - the ones that are well-balanced, have a lasting impact, and cause the least amount of long-term damage - are my least favorite kind. The iterative ones - where you have to make the same decision repeatedly. Where you have to do it again. And again.  It's like a twisted lifetime-long "Who wants to be a millionaire" with oddly-appropriate people asking "are you sure".

This is easy when it is positive reinforcement. Yes, I like chocolate. Yes, I love my spouse. Yes, I do fit into the bracelet I wore twenty years ago.

It is hard to do with repentance. To repent, not just the first time, but every time. And to do so mindfully, willingly, gladly, and to give thanks while doing it.

And I've been learning that God really wants me to change - but, much like prayer is more for us than for Him (because He already knows what we're going to ask for AND knows what we need, so why ask?), repentance is our opportunity to be humbled, to rely upon Him, and to be aware of what we're repenting.  If repentance were easy - everybody would do it and it likely wouldn't have the same import.

But repentance, to turn away, to choose the less-comfortable path, is what we are called to do. We are to "put away childish things". What's a childish thing? Something that encourages you to act immature, to be selfish, to draw you away from God. Anything can be a childish thing.

And in that release, that repentance, that acceptance that we need God, we can be more Loving - in fact, we kind of get out of our own way.

Baseline

Context:

It is the hardest thing in the world to change, really change.

Sometimes I think it is because we so often define our expectations based upon labels.

So if you're in one camp, you're "okay"; and anyone not in that camp is "wrong".

... as if labels meant anything except an opportunity to feel safe.

Sometimes I think it is because we are confused or afraid of the full-identity commitment.

We get used to being old, angry, frail, hated, whatever ... and that skin feels comfortable.

Even if we actually hate it.

To become something or someone else requires an understanding that your nature is ... misaligned.

And so this comes with its own fear - what if a head-down approach to changes misses something?

The best way to change is to have an objective guide outside of yourself providing feedback.

Best case scenario, this guide would need to be perpetually available, be as committed to your change (or more so) than you, have a clear understanding about the direction you OUGHT to be growing/changing, and be aware when the rate at which your changing is not healthy.

Because change that comes too fast or too slow can be its own death knell.

I want to be better ... and that requires change.

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Legend:
I intend to set a SMART goal that captures the kind of better I'd like to be.

That is, establish a measurable, specific goal that can be accomplished within a known time window.

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Declaration:

By 08 October 2016 (95 days) I want to be a better Christian, by evidencing improvement along all 12 of the City Life Pathways.

Anticipation:

I anticipate I will observe improvements as a spouse, a parent, an offspring, and as an individual

Measurement:
I will establish a baseline along each of the 12 pathways (to be able to recognize improvements).

Feedback:

After establishing a baseline I will focus on one pathway each week; and, presuming I'm faithful, I'll document my state here on these pages.  If nothing else, I hope that whoever reads this is able to grow closer to Christ.

Ballast:

Additionally, I'll do my best to document habits, mental tendencies, and hobbies that detract from my ability to succeed in each domain. I commit to either completely replacing or pausing any that earnestly detract from successfully bearing fruit.  And throughout I will be asking God to guide me. Cause change is hard.  But God is greater